Trauma-Informed Tarot

0. The Fool

The Fool is a card of new beginnings. It’s an encouragement to take a leap of faith and enthusiastically pursue a new path. I like to think of it as Bilbo Baggins chasing after Gandalf and calling over his shoulder, “I’m going on an adventure!”

But for those of us who have experienced trauma, the feeling of carefree enthusiasm begins to feel unsafe. It’s okay to be excited about new possibilities and feel afraid to try something new after experiencing trauma. You can still go on the fool's journey. Being scared and still learning to trust yourself enough to make that leap of faith is incredibly brave, and it’s important to acknowledge that for people who have experienced trauma, the fool can seem like a scary card, even though it’s typically a very positive card.

It’s okay to feel triggered when thinking about the possibilities of a new journey like the fool can bring.

An interesting thing I learned in my hypnotherapy classes is that our minds store information as knowns and unknowns. Knowns are things you have experienced and know how to respond to. They can be good or bad, but since your mind knows what to do with the given information, it associates it with a positive. A good example of this is being in an emotionally abusive relationship. You know it’s not healthy, but you’ve learned to adapt to living that way, so you know, even though it’s a bad situation, it feels comfortable and familiar.

Unknowns are processed as negatives in the mind. Using the same example, we can look at the way victims of abuse often experience mental pushback when thinking of leaving their abusers because they know how to survive in that relationship; what if it’s worse without them??

I’ve long been struggling to explain how my tarot practice got so entwined with my trauma, but it was through this same process of knowns and unknowns. I was continually experiencing trauma as my practice grew and developed, but after months of non-stop moments of extreme stress, I began to associate tarot cards with traumatic moments.

I do not read tarot to predict the future or fortune tell in any way, but there were times when my cards seemed to predict an event, almost as if they were warning me that I would need to be strong for this next chapter of my life. I began to dread reading my cards, absolutely petrified that instead of helping me develop my personal growth, they would once again whisper warnings of ill tides to come. The practice that had once brought me so much joy and vitality began to feel unsafe. My mind learned to associate tarot with traumatic moments.

After experiencing trauma, taking chances on something new and unfamiliar sends our nervous system into a panicked overdrive because we know how to operate in our worlds, and new things mean we might be exposed to further trauma.

There are times when I still feel the intoxicating joy of The Fool. I am so excited about an idea or a project that I race ahead, much like Bilbo chasing after Gandalf… but then I find myself stopping at the cliff's edge, too afraid to take that leap. Then, I feel like the fool card is an acute reminder that I’ve lost my muchness. I am terrified to waltz into the unknown. Doesn’t The Fool know that sharp rocks could be waiting at the bottom?!?

I had been feeling like something was missing in my life. In my effort to protect myself from further harm, I slowly and systematically stripped away everything that made me feel alive. Part of my recovery process has been working toward re-claiming the things I love dearly. As I have begun rebuilding my tarot practice after extensive trauma, I have learned to honor both the part of me that is excited and the part that is wary.

Both emotions are always valid, but telling someone who has experienced deep trauma to take a leap of faith can do more harm than good. We already feel the limitations of our fear, and we are often acutely aware that we are getting in our own way. It’s frustrating, especially when we desperately want to take that leap, but we know from experience the pain that can be felt.

So, much like The Fool, I am committing to the beginner's path once more with a trauma-informed approach. I would like to offer ways to examine the cards that are trauma friendly, and perhaps make those of us who have had deep traumas feel seen and validated as we work with the cards.